Lately I have been in a serious funk. Every China adopter has been, I'm sure. To know that your wait is going to be either long or really, really long, is rough. At first I thought we would be in China in September. I was so disappointed when that slid back to December. And now February 2007 is looking more likely. Truthfully, there's just no telling, and that's the hardest part of all.
The other day when referral dates where known, I cried so hard I gave myself a headache. And it's really hard to deliver mail while crying. Of course as soon as I get back to the post office my friend says, "Hey, how's your adoption going?" I lost it again.
Thank Goodness for my Jeff. He's been so kind when I snap at him and say stupid things. Conversations in our house have gone something like this:
Me: You know if we switch to Vietnam, we'd have a baby sooner.
Jeff: We have a plan. Stick to the plan.
or
Me: You wanna try and get pregnant this month? (Like this would be the magic month after 2 years of trying...ha ha)
Jeff: We have a plan. Stick to the plan.
Me: (whiney voice) But the plan has changed!
Jeff: The plan hasn't changed. It's just delayed. Stick to the plan.
He's so good for me, but I think my depression is starting to wear on him. So, as the title says, it's time to shake off the funk. I can't spend the next 7, 10, or 12 months like this. There willl continue to be dips in my mood everytime referrals come out ( if they stay at this pace) But I've got to get back to normal. I'm no fun to be around like this.
So now, to shake that nasty funk, we're planning hiking excursions, more get togethers with friends, mini trips to quaint towns in the area, local touristy things. And then there's still the never ending home improvement projects. We need to get out and do these things and not live from match day to match day. (I say "we", but really mean "me".) Poor Honey. I'll let you know how the plan works. Now I'm going to soak in the hot tub. That always helps.
7 comments:
I can totally hear Jeff saying that..
Audrey has been stressed too, of course not as much as you sound, walking and jogging everyday together really help us because it gives us fresh air together and a way to work out the negative energy. It helps to get dressed up nice to go to a local restaurant for a romantic dinner, or lunch. That is what we are doing this weekend. I think you should too.
Oh, I know this sucks so much! I never expected it to slow like this ever when I started...
Hang in there..
Way to go! It is so interesting how one can talk oneself into either a good mood or a bad mood. I do it all the time. We are so lucky to have such patient and caring husbands to help us through this crazy time in our lives. Hope today is better than yesterday.
I am with you sister!!! :) We actually talked about Vietnam today too. That is funny. We will probably get our next baby from Vietnam. That is probably what everyone is saying and then when we do that the wait will be just as long....life is crazy.
We can do it. I agree. Have fun, travel and enjoy being child-free. We will never have this time again.
Hang in there! It's been hard these last couple months. Have faith. Remember your daughter will come to you. We are all here to support each other at least we have that!
You definately have to do all those things on your list - mini trips, hikes, hanging out with friends. Just get out and have some fun girl!
And don't forget about sleeping in!! That is THE thing I now miss the most. I understand your sadness and depression, with this long wait in front of you. Just keep you heart on the reward (a beautiful daughter!!) and it will be so worth the wait!
Laura
www.mclaughlinadoption.com
www.babysites.com/sites/avery
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