Today marks another anniversay. The Big 17! Seventeen months since being logged in. We're getting close to 2 years since the beginning of the process.
Here's the interesting thing. I don't really care right now. I read on other boards about how people are hurting because of the wait. I'm not really. Sometime recently, Zoe moved back to being that fictional kid who might one day join our family. I don't pine. Don't cry. Haven't been in her room in weeks. I'm not talking about her every chance I get. On mother's day, a lot of my customers asked me if I had children and mostly I just said, "no." Before, that would have been the perfect opportunity to go on and on about my daughter who has in all liklihood already been born in China.
If you told me we weren't getting our referral until next year, I'd probably say, "darn....bummer." Whereas before that would have left me crying for days.
I don't know what happened. Perhaps the wait has finally beaten me into submission. This is definitely a better place to be, but although I'm not sad, I'm not excited either. Kind of like my cat who watches the bug crawl by, but can't be bothered to get up and chase it. That's me right now.
So four or five months more? Okay.
5 comments:
Oh Georgia,
I am glad that you are dealing with this so much better than others. Time will pass and she will come, and honestly, then time will kick into hyperdrive and you'll want it to slow down so you can savor everything she does. Enjoy the hotub while you can still blissful relax without demands :D You guys are just around the corner and welcome over anytime you'd like.
I am really glad that you are in a peaceful place right now regarding the wait. It is really good when you can experience that. I was in a good place for a long time, and then when things looked like they were getting close but then slowed, it kind of threw me for a loop. But I am so much better now!
I hope you stay happy and calm until your referral day!
What an awesome place to be during the wait. I hope you continue to have calmness and peace for the next few months until Zoe comes home. Now, pass some of that peace around :)
It's a cycle. Glad you are in the good part of it now! I am too which is really weird given recent events. Just goes to prove that you can't predict your own emotions!
Been there, went back to feeling sorry for myself, then went back to the "oh well" attitude.
Fictional kid.. I think that describes it appropriately. LOL.
Why can't you just be miserable with us, eh? Attend some showers, girl... LOL
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